Friday, October 22, 2010

Am I Afraid of Committal?

So here I am.  Back again.  After two exhausting rounds of anti-biotics.  A few weeks ago I had a terrible sinus infection.  This week I have missed work because of bronchitis. 

I was sitting at home this evening watching one of my favourite movies, Julie & Julia.  I like the character, Julie Powell.  She reminds me of myself.  A writer who truly believes you are not really a writer unless you're published.  Although, technically, I suppose I am published.  I wrote an article for a magazine a few years ago.  I keep a copy of the magazine by my bedside, buried under 20 other books and magazines.  Pathetic, I know.

Anyhoo, I was watching the movie tonight and had the urge to sit down and write to you.  It's been too long and my writing urges have not been met.

Why am I afraid of committal?  Now, don't get me wrong, I do commit to many things.  For example, I have been married to the same incredible man for almost 19 years now.  So, it's not that I can't commit to everything.  Rather, I suppose I am afraid of rejection.

I mean, why haven't I submitted the short stories I have written and have stored away on sheets of paper, coil notebooks, and in my computer files.  Why haven't I submitted my photography to various magazines and other publications.  I am ultimately afraid of being rejected.  Of being told I'm not good enough.  Why should I care so much?

Look at all the writers who submitted hundreds of manuscripts before some editor thought their words were interesting enough to share with the world.  Many photographers submit hundreds of images before one is selected to be "the one".

One of these days, I will be that writer or photographer.  Until then I work on my craft and write to you. 

No comments:

Post a Comment